Directions: |
Directions:Drive to your local HyVee store.
Spend 10 to 20 minutes finding a parking spot. This time can be decreased if you avoid HyVee the day before of the holiday.
After parking and letting your engine (and temper) simmer, walk into the HyVee. This process will happen more rapidly if you avoid making eye contact with the Salvation Army bell ringer. But, you will feel guilty and give a few dollars on your way out.
Walk rapidly to the produce isle. Try to avoid tripping over the slower walkers, who are also much shorter than you.
Find the large vegetable tray. If it is missing, you can substitute for a smaller tray and hope nobody notices.
Walk towards the checkout. Grab a container of cheap Christmas cookies because you feel guilty for only purchasing a small vegie tray at the last minute.
Wait in the checkout line for 10 to 20 minutes. Wait times may vary depending on how close you are to the holiday.
After a longer than average checkout period, expediently walk out the door.
After a short period of guilt, place 1 dollar in the bell ringer's pot and hope that nobody notices that you only donated 1 dollar. ½ dollar or ¼ dollar can be substituted, but everybody notices coins.
Once at your car, start the engine.
Attempt to leave the HyVee parking lot. Avoid the temptation to run down the slow walkers with your car. Sometimes a few choice words can help. However, you may want to avoid these words, if you have any passengers.
Start the journey to the family gathering and drive for about 120 miles.
Open the container of cookies about ½ way to the destination. Nobody is expecting the cookies anyway.
Proceed to eat at least ¼ of the container. Sometimes ½ of the container. But enough to be noticeable.
Arrive at your destination. Walk in the door with the vegie tray. Leave the cookie container in the car, for the drive home.
Enjoy....the vegies and all the food that everybody else slaved over for the last 2 days. |
Personal
Notes: |
Personal
Notes: As you can tell, I'm not much of a cook. I typically purchase vegetable trays, milk, chocolate milk, orange juice, and whatever extra things are needed for various holiday gatherings. I hope you enjoy my "recipe" :-)
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This recipe for Tim's Holiday Vegetable Tray is from