{"id":1957,"date":"2021-12-28T09:48:42","date_gmt":"2021-12-28T13:48:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.familycookbookproject.com\/theblog\/?p=1957"},"modified":"2024-09-25T12:08:55","modified_gmt":"2024-09-25T16:08:55","slug":"5-things-in-your-kitchen-that-plan-to-destroy-your-kitchen-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.familycookbookproject.com\/theblog\/2021\/12\/5-things-in-your-kitchen-that-plan-to-destroy-your-kitchen-2.html","title":{"rendered":"5 Things In Your Kitchen \u2013 That Plan To Destroy Your Kitchen!"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
Here\u2019s a fun guest post about your kitchen items that you haven\u2019t considered! \u00a0Fun read!<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Remember to add your great holiday recipes into your\u00a0<\/span>recipe box and cookbook<\/a>\u00a0at\u00a0<\/span>Family Cookbook Project<\/a>!<\/span><\/div>\n<\/header>\n
\n
<\/div>\n
\"\"The Fridge\u2026<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
What you expect from a fridge:<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
\n

\u00a0\u2013 for it to keep your food cold, or else there\u2019s little difference between it and a table.<\/span>\u00a0\u2013 to keep your food fresh, because that\u2019s what fridges do. Are supposed to.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\u2013\u00a0 for there to be a nightlight, please, thank you. Very important for munchies in the middle of the night, no?<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Your fridge\u2019s evil plan!
\n<\/span><\/b>
\n\u2013 to leave an iceberg of Titanic proportions in your freezer compartment, such that it\u2019ll take days, (nay, years), to defrost.\u00a0 \u201cFrost free? What\u2019s that?\u201d, your fridge chuckles.<\/span>\u2013 to make like the sun and thaw your food when you explicitly asked it NOT to (and it explicitly agreed)\u2013 to hide your food in places you never knew existed (labyrinth, anyone?) until you start to smell something verrrrrry wrong each time you open the fridge door.How to prevent your fridge\u2019s disobedience:<\/b>\u2013\u00a0every night, read poetry to it<\/s>Defrost and declutter it on a regular basis so it feels loved and cared for and feels less of a need to rebel in order to be noticed.\u2013 Make a note of its insurance and warranty and stick both dates on the fridge door to ensure they\u2019re both always up to date.\u2013 Every week or so, have a rummage through to ensure nothing should be in the bin rather than the fridge.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\"\"2) The Oven\u2026
\n<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
What you expect from an oven:<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
\n

\u2013heat up fairly quickly and not think it\u2019s your fridge<\/span>\u2013 warm your food thoroughly. Cooked through. Piping hot. Steam curling out seductively from your dinner when you cut into it, like it\u2019s in an advert.<\/p>\n

\u2013 not burn your food<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Your oven\u2019s evil plan:<\/span><\/b>\u2013 to take AGES warming up, to the extent that you start considering perhaps the food\u2019ll warm up quicker if you breathed on it yourself<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2013 to cook your food deceptively. Piping hot on the outside. Cold on the inside.<\/p>\n

\u2013 burn your food whatever temperature you set it at, because once your oven makes up its mind, it makes up its mind.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

How to prevent your oven\u2019s disobedience:<\/span><\/b>\u2013 test your oven\u2019s sensor on a regular basis (you\u2019ll need an Ohm meter). It should be at a healthy 1050-1100 Ohms at a room temperature of 15-27 C. (p.s.: disconnect from mains before testing)<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2013 keep insurance\/warranty up to date. Ovens have an uncanny way of misbehaving the minute these expire.<\/p>\n

\u2013 If you have a non-electrical oven, check your pilot light often to make sure there isn\u2019t anything covering its port (bits of food, residue from what you used to clean the oven). You can clean the port with the aid of a small wire.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\"\"3) The Sink\u2026
\n<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
What you expect from a sink:<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n

\n<\/span><\/b>\u2013 for it to like water<\/span>\u2013 for it to express how much it likes water by letting it pass through effortlessly\u2013 for it not to leak<\/div>\n

\nYour sink\u2019s evil plan:<\/span><\/b>\u2013 to develop an allergy to water<\/span>\u2013 to be extremely receptive to food<\/div>\n
\n

\u2013 to leak at the most inconvenient of times as it\u2019s psychically attuned to your diary.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

How to prevent your sink\u2019s disobedience:<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n

\n<\/span><\/b>\u2013 leave it to have an overnight heart-to-heart chat with some liquid drain unblocker (or vinegar and bicarbonate of soda).<\/span>\u2013 put it on a strict water diet by buying a sink strainer\u2013 have a second diary as a decoy<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\"\"4) The Washing Machine\u2026
\n<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
What you expect from a washing machine:<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
\n

\u2013 for it to actually wash<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2013 to stick to the cycle you set it at, because it likes and respects you<\/p>\n

\u2013 to be noisy but courteously so<\/p>\n

\u2013 to physically stick to one spot<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Your washing machine\u2019s evil plan:<\/span><\/b>\u2013 for your clothes to come out dirtier than when you put them in the wash<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2013 to wash twice as long as you initially set it, sometimes longer, depending on whether it\u2019s a full moon or not<\/p>\n

\u2013 to make as much noise as possible\u2026and move around just as much\u00a0(\u201cHello. Only me. Just passing through\u201d<\/i>, it says as it rattles past you towards the hallway).<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\u2013 to collaborate with your sink to give you the motherload of swimming pools when you come back from the shops<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
How to prevent your washing machine\u2019s disobedience:<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n

\n<\/span><\/b>\u2013 After each wash, leave its door slightly open to air it out. It stops stale smells from taking up residence.<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u2013 Once every month, give your washing machine a service wash. Put the machine on a spin (temperature: hot) with nothing in it but detergent. It\u2019s like a detox.<\/span><\/div>\n
\n

\u2013 if it\u2019s not sticking to its cycle and\/or it really is that noisy and it\u2019s happened a few times, check your warranty\/insurance and see if it can get fixed or replaced.<\/span>\u2013 tell it you\u2019re sorry, even though you\u2019ve done nothing wrong. Sometimes, that\u2019s all a washing machine wants to hear.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
\"\"5) The Toaster\u2026
\n<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
What you expect from a toaster:<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
\n

\u2013 to be sensitive towards all slices and forms of bread and treat them all equally<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2013 to pop up\/stay down when it\u2019s supposed to and to know the difference between the two<\/p>\n

\u2013 for it to toast bread in an unburnt fashion, unless you explicitly ask it to<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Your toaster\u2019s evil plan:<\/span><\/b>\u2013 to burn everything, even at the expense of its own demise<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2013 to adamantly refuse to pop up\/stay down when it\u2019s meant to<\/p>\n

\u2013 to have a complete and utter disregard for the current economic climate and make you buy twice as many loaves of bread as you actually need because it insists on burning every slice to a crisp.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

\"\"<\/a>How to prevent your toaster\u2019s disobedience:<\/span><\/b>\u00a0\u2013Crumbs collect at the bottom and might be one of the things your toaster\u2019s moaning about. Clean it out on a weekly basis. (again, disconnecting it from the mains first.)<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2013 Toast slices that are of the same size. Lessens the likelihood of burning.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\u2013 If the lever is faulty, check there\u00a0aren\u2019t\u00a0any bits of food blocking it or the thermostat playing up.<\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n

This guest post was contributed in 2012 by\u00a0Kit Stone<\/a>; a leading provider of beautiful bespoke kitchens.<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bill Rice<\/i> is founder and Co-Publisher of the Great Family Cookbook Project<\/a>, a website that helps families and individuals collect and share food memories through customized printed cookbooks filled with treasured recipes. Follow us on Facebook<\/a> and Pinterest<\/a>!<\/i><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Here\u2019s a fun guest post about your kitchen items that you haven\u2019t considered! \u00a0Fun read! Remember to add your great holiday recipes into your\u00a0recipe box and cookbook\u00a0at\u00a0Family Cookbook Project! The Fridge\u2026 What you expect from a fridge: \u00a0\u2013 for it to keep your food cold, or else there\u2019s little difference between it and a table.\u00a0\u2013 …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":2475,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1957","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-cookbook","has-thumb"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.familycookbookproject.com\/theblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1957","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.familycookbookproject.com\/theblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.familycookbookproject.com\/theblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.familycookbookproject.com\/theblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.familycookbookproject.com\/theblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1957"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.familycookbookproject.com\/theblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1957\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4409,"href":"https:\/\/www.familycookbookproject.com\/theblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1957\/revisions\/4409"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.familycookbookproject.com\/theblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2475"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.familycookbookproject.com\/theblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1957"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.familycookbookproject.com\/theblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1957"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.familycookbookproject.com\/theblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1957"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}