{"id":129,"date":"2012-12-20T09:14:00","date_gmt":"2012-12-20T13:14:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.familycookbookproject.com\/theblog\/2012\/12\/5-things-in-your-kitchen-that-plan-to-destroy-your-kitchen.html"},"modified":"2014-06-22T13:04:47","modified_gmt":"2014-06-22T17:04:47","slug":"5-things-in-your-kitchen-that-plan-to-destroy-your-kitchen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.familycookbookproject.com\/theblog\/2012\/12\/5-things-in-your-kitchen-that-plan-to-destroy-your-kitchen.html","title":{"rendered":"5 things in your kitchen – that plan to destroy your kitchen!"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Here’s a fun guest post about your kitchen items that you haven’t considered!  Fun read!  Remember to add your great holiday recipes into your recipe box and cookbook<\/a> at Family Cookbook Project<\/a>!<\/span><\/div>\n

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The Fridge…
<\/span><\/b>(Image Source<\/a>| Credit<\/a>)
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<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n

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What you expect from a fridge:<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n

 – for it to keep your food cold, or else there\u2019s little difference between it and a table.<\/p>\n

 – to keep your food fresh, because that\u2019s what fridges do. Are supposed to.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n

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–  for there to be a nightlight, please, thank you. Very important for munchies in the middle of the night, no?<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n


<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
Your fridge\u2019s evil plan!
<\/span><\/b>
 – to leave an iceberg of Titanic proportions in your freezer compartment, such that it\u2019ll take days, (nay, years), to defrost.  \u201cFrost free? What\u2019s that?\u201d, your fridge chuckles.<\/p>\n

– to make like the sun and thaw your food when you explicitly asked it NOT to (and it explicitly agreed)<\/p>\n

– to hide your food in places you never knew existed (labyrinth, anyone?) until you start to smell something verrrrrry wrong each time you open the fridge door.<\/p>\n

How to prevent your fridge\u2019s disobedience:<\/p>\n

<\/b> – every night, read poetry to it<\/s>Defrost and declutter it on a regular basis so it feels loved and cared for and feels less of a need to rebel in order to be noticed.<\/p>\n

– Make a note of its insurance and warranty and stick both dates on the fridge door to ensure they\u2019re both always up to date.<\/p>\n

– Every week or so, have a rummage through to ensure nothing should be in the bin rather than the fridge.<\/o:p><\/b><\/span><\/div>\n

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2) The Oven…
<\/span><\/b>(Image Source<\/a>| Credit<\/a>)<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/b><\/span><\/o:p><\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
<\/a><\/div>\n

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What you expect from an oven:<\/span><\/b> <\/span><\/b><\/div>\n

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– <\/b>heat up fairly quickly and not think it\u2019s your fridge<\/p>\n

– warm your food thoroughly. Cooked through. Piping hot. Steam curling out seductively from your dinner when you cut into it, like it\u2019s in an advert.<\/p>\n

– not burn your food

<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
Your oven\u2019s evil plan:<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/b>– to take AGES warming up, to the extent that you start considering perhaps the food\u2019ll warm up quicker if you breathed on it yourself<\/p>\n

– to cook your food deceptively. Piping hot on the outside. Cold on the inside.<\/p>\n

 – burn your food whatever temperature you set it at, because once your oven makes up its mind, it makes up its mind.

<\/b><\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
How to prevent your oven\u2019s disobedience:<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/b>– test your oven\u2019s sensor on a regular basis (you\u2019ll need an Ohm meter). It should be at a healthy 1050-1100 Ohms at a room temperature of 15-27 C. (p.s.: disconnect from mains before testing)<\/p>\n

– keep insurance\/warranty up to date. Ovens have an uncanny way of misbehaving the minute these expire.<\/p>\n

– If you have a non-electrical oven, check your pilot light often to make sure there isn\u2019t anything covering its port (bits of food, residue from what you used to clean the oven). You can clean the port with the aid of a small wire.

<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n

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3) The Sink…
<\/span><\/b>(Image Source<\/a> | Credit<\/a>)<\/o:p><\/span><\/b><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
<\/a><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/b>What you expect from a sink:<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/b>– for it to like water<\/p>\n

– for it to express how much it likes water by letting it pass through effortlessly<\/p>\n

– for it not to leak

<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n


Your sink\u2019s evil plan:<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/b>– to develop an allergy to water<\/p>\n

– to be extremely receptive to food

<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n

– to leak at the most inconvenient of times as it\u2019s psychically attuned to your diary.

<\/o:p><\/b><\/span><\/div>\n

How to prevent your sink\u2019s disobedience:<\/o:p><\/span><\/b><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/b>– leave it to have an overnight heart-to-heart chat with some liquid drain unblocker (or vinegar and bicarbonate of soda).<\/p>\n

– put it on a strict water diet by buying a sink strainer<\/p>\n

– have a second diary as a decoy<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n



<\/o:p><\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
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4) The Washing Machine…
<\/span><\/b>(Image Source<\/a>| Credit<\/a>)<\/o:p><\/span><\/b><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
<\/a><\/div>\n

What you expect from a washing machine:<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/b>– for it to actually wash<\/p>\n

– to stick to the cycle you set it at, because it likes and respects you<\/p>\n

– to be noisy but courteously so<\/p>\n

– to physically stick to one spot

<\/o:p><\/b><\/span><\/div>\n

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Your washing machine\u2019s evil plan:<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/b>– for your clothes to come out dirtier than when you put them in the wash<\/p>\n

– to wash twice as long as you initially set it, sometimes longer, depending on whether it\u2019s a full moon or not<\/p>\n

– to make as much noise as possible…and move around just as much (\u201cHello. Only me. Just passing through\u201d<\/i>, it says as it rattles past you towards the hallway).<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/div>\n
– to collaborate with your sink to give you the motherload of swimming pools when you come back from the shops<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n


<\/o:p><\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
How to prevent your washing machine\u2019s disobedience:<\/o:p><\/span><\/b><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/b>– After each wash, leave its door slightly open to air it out. It stops stale smells from taking up residence.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
– Once every month, give your washing machine a service wash. Put the machine on a spin (temperature: hot) with nothing in it but detergent. It\u2019s like a detox.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
– if it\u2019s not sticking to its cycle and\/or it really is that noisy and it\u2019s happened a few times, check your warranty\/insurance and see if it can get fixed or replaced.<\/p>\n

– tell it you\u2019re sorry, even though you\u2019ve done nothing wrong. Sometimes, that\u2019s all a washing machine wants to hear.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n

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5) The Toaster…
<\/span><\/b>(Image Source<\/a> | Credit<\/a>)<\/o:p><\/span><\/b><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/b><\/div>\n
<\/a><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
What you expect from a toaster:<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/b>– to be sensitive towards all slices and forms of bread and treat them all equally<\/p>\n

– to pop up\/stay down when it\u2019s supposed to and to know the difference between the two<\/p>\n

– for it to toast bread in an unburnt fashion, unless you explicitly ask it to<\/p>\n


<\/o:p><\/b><\/span><\/div>\n

Your toaster\u2019s evil plan:<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/b>– to burn everything, even at the expense of its own demise<\/p>\n

– to adamantly refuse to pop up\/stay down when it\u2019s meant to<\/p>\n

– to have a complete and utter disregard for the current economic climate and make you buy twice as many loaves of bread as you actually need because it insists on burning every slice to a crisp.<\/p>\n


<\/o:p><\/b><\/span><\/div>\n

How to prevent your toaster\u2019s disobedience:<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/b> – <\/b>Crumbs collect at the bottom and might be one of the things your toaster\u2019s moaning about. Clean it out on a weekly basis. (again, disconnecting it from the mains first.)<\/p>\n

– Toast slices that are of the same size. Lessens the likelihood of burning.<\/o:p><\/span><\/div>\n


– If the lever is faulty, check there <\/span>aren’t<\/span> any bits of food blocking it or the thermostat playing up.<\/o:p><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
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This guest post was contributed by Kit Stone<\/span><\/a>; a leading provider of beautiful bespoke kitchens.<\/span>

<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Here’s a fun guest post about your kitchen items that you haven’t considered!  Fun read!  Remember to add your great holiday recipes into your recipe box and cookbook at Family Cookbook Project! The Fridge…(Image Source| Credit) What you expect from a fridge:  – for it to keep your food cold, or else there\u2019s little difference …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,9,12,13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-129","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-cookbook-software","category-cooking-tips","category-editor-tips","category-food-for-thought","no-thumb"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.familycookbookproject.com\/theblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/129","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.familycookbookproject.com\/theblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.familycookbookproject.com\/theblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.familycookbookproject.com\/theblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.familycookbookproject.com\/theblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=129"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.familycookbookproject.com\/theblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/129\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.familycookbookproject.com\/theblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=129"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.familycookbookproject.com\/theblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=129"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.familycookbookproject.com\/theblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=129"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}