"As viscous as motor oil swirled in a swamp, redolent of burnt bell peppers nested in by incontinent mice and a finish reminiscent of the dregs of a stale can of Coca-Cola that someone has been using as an ashtray. Not a bad drink, though."--Excerpt from "The Moose Turd Wine Tasting" by T. A. Nonymous
1 cup sugar1 teaspoon baking soda ½ cup shortening½ teaspoon salt 2 eggs, beaten1½ teaspoon buttermilk 1 cup apples, grated½ teaspoon vanilla 2 cups flour1 cup nuts
Topping: 3 tablespoons sugar 1 teaspoon cinnamon
Cream shortening and sugar. Add eggs and apples. Sift flour, soda and salt together. Add to creamed mixture. Add buttermilk, vanilla and nuts. Pour into loaf pan. Sprinkle top with topping. Bake at 350° for 60 min.
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