1. Chocolate is a vegetable. How, you ask? Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. Beans are a vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.
2. To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk, which is dairy. So candy bars are a health food.
3. Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
4. If youíve got melted chocolate all over your hands, youíre eating it too slowly.
5. The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
6. Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. Itíll take the edge off your appetite, and youíll eat less.
7. If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
8. If we eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Donít they actually counteract each other?
9. Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger. Therefore, you need to eat more chocolate.
10. Put ďeat chocolateĒ at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least youíll get one thing done.
11. A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Now, isnít that handy?
12. If you canít eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you canít eat all your chocolate, whatís wrong with you?
13. If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. You canít let that happen, can you?
As a chocoholic, we are on our own version of a 12-step program - we are never more than 12 steps away from chocolate.