"As viscous as motor oil swirled in a swamp, redolent of burnt bell peppers nested in by incontinent mice and a finish reminiscent of the dregs of a stale can of Coca-Cola that someone has been using as an ashtray. Not a bad drink, though."--Excerpt from "The Moose Turd Wine Tasting" by T. A. Nonymous
2 tbsp. oil 1 lb. raw chicken, boned and sliced 1/4 c. split almonds 1/4 tsp. pepper 1 tbsp. water 1/2 c. fresh or canned sliced mushrooms 1/2 c. sliced water chestnuts 2 tbsp. soy sauce 1 tbsp. cornstarch 2 tbsp. water
In a wok, heat oil and add chicken, almonds, and pepper; stir-fry until the chicken is browned. Add one tbsp. water, mushrooms, water chestnuts, and soy sauce. Stir-fry. Cover, lower heat and simmer 4 min. Combine cornstarch and 2 tbsp. water. Add to chicken mixture. Cook and stir until sauce thickens. Can be served with rice or chow mein noodles.
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